Sweet Sixteen - 16 Dating Rules - Code of Ethics

Posted by François DulaPay on March 16, 2017.

Hello moms, dads and all you lovely young ladies who are about to reach your Sixteenth Birthday. This is a letter François wrote years ago to a daughter of his friends. You may get a kick out of it, but hopefully will also learn something from it -- in spite of the joking and sarcasm. Please share this letter with your daughters, your friends and your neighbors. Thank you for visiting Poems 2 the Point.

FRANÇOIS DULAPAY
Hotel Blue Diamond
Amrit Marg
Kathmandu 44600
Nepal

July 28, 2000

Dear Leah,

Since you have crossed an important Finish Line -- leaving your childhood behind -- and are now on the Starting Blocks of great significance, I will take a little extra time to write you this special letter.

You may view your Sixteenth Birthday as a time for a lot more freedoms, with permission to participate in activities you have only dreamed of up till now. Those freedoms and activities come with great responsibilities.

There will be many areas of change, but let me limit myself to discuss just one aspect of your future life, namely "Dating."

Perhaps your mom and dad allow you to go out on a date. If so, please read this letter very carefully. If not, save it until that time arrives.

PLEASE CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING BEFORE DATING

a)     Do not date skin-heads as those guys have already shaved off too much of their brains.

b)     Do not date bleach-heads because that liquid belongs in the washer and I am sure that you are not interested in dirty laundry. Besides, you do not know how much of their intellect has already been bleached away.

c)     In either case, the ones who love you do not want to see you end up with any of the above meat-heads.

d)     Date only Americans. Absolutely no foreigners, unless he is Dutch. If you date a German, I never will speak to you again.

e)     Date only gentlemen, who know how to dress up for the occasion. Reconsider those who have decorated their skin with art, or have precious metals attached to their flesh. You should not be interested in possible candidates for therapy.

f)      Your date must fully comprehend that when wearing long slacks, the garment cannot be an oversized, overly long, torn apart, or a dangerously low-hanging bottomless potato sack. It would be most embarrassing to have his boxers showing while dining out, and it could also cause you constant fear that he might lose the whole textile. Now, if his favorite attire and hair color is green, well ... have mercy on the guy as there is hope.

The above was just a prelude, Leah, and below is a list of even more important items which you may give to the gentleman for his consideration before you date him. Here is the so called -

“Sweet Sixteen - 16 Dating Rules - Code of Ethics”

♦♦♦

LEAH'S

DATING CODE OF ETHICS

TO BE FULLY UNDERSTOOD BY THOSE I DATE

1)     The time for picking me up will be decided by me exclusively, since you do not want to introduce fire ants into my veins right from the beginning.

2)     When we have a date, and you are one second late … you're history! On the other hand, when you are on time and have to wait for me, do not make a big deal of it because I put on my make-up solely for your benefit.

3)     In the event that we go out, please be informed that I honor the Old World Order, “You pay for everything!”

4)     When wearing long trousers, most types and colors are acceptable but I prefer the khaki-type for they usually have six pockets.
One pocket for clean, fresh and unused handkerchiefs for you to dry my tears during a movie, or to be used whenever I get emotional for no apparent reason.
One pocket for your bread (funds, that is, if you did not get my drift), and the other four pockets should be reserved to facilitate the possible overflow of my purse.

5)     During our date, you are to only have eyes for me as I am the Center of the Universe. You are not allowed to communicate with any other females, nor with any of your buddies, should they be nearby.

6)     During our date, only women's talk is accepted -- no work talk, no car talk and no sports talk, unless it is about women's basketball or soccer.

7)    During our date, I will conduct myself like a lady and must be treated as such. Your behavior toward me should reflect that. As for addressing me, my name is Leah and therefore, I shall not respond to "What," "Hè," "Here," or any other desecrating single-word utterance.

8)    In the event that we practice Repeat Dating, and you are suffering from television-remote-control-mania, you must allow me to practice medicine on you, because I cannot go on further with this most irrational behavior.

9)    When you ask me at the beginning of a date what I want to do or where I want to go, my answer will always be the same: "Whatever you want is fine with me." This is because when we get into a conflict about it at a later point in time, I can always say: "I did all those things only to please you."

10)  Never ask me what is wrong since my answer will always be the same: "Nothing." This reply must be accepted, so that when we come to a serious confrontation, I always can say: "You just don't understand!"

11)  When I have mood swings, do not ask the reason why, because there is no reason, and if there is, I simply will not tell you. Just accept it, and remember to continue to be a perfect gentleman regardless!

12)  You must be a mind reader since I do not answer specific questions, nor do I speak my mind. This is all done so that I later can say: "I thought you knew that" or "You ought to have to known that" or other words to that effect.
Furthermore, take note of everything what I say, what I do, what I wear and, most importantly, what I feel, since -

 "The sole duty of every young men I date is to observe, lest I ask:

       "Did you not see?"

       "Did you not hear?"

       "Did you not sense?"

       "Did you become a lame brain?"

       "Do I have to explain everything to you?"

13)  When we go to the mall, you must be absolutely patient when I shop, and carry all my packages to the car without the slightest complaint. Frankly, I do not want to hear it.

14)  Since I want to be treated as Her Majesty, you will always open the car and every other door for me, not just on the first date, but until death does us part. Well ... it might be a bit premature to say that as yet, since first you will have to prove yourself.

15)  When your behavior during any of our dates is other than that of a perfect gentleman, let this be a word to the wise, I have an older friend, who is an equalizer specialist and he will certainly remember your face. He loves to travel and will come after you no matter where you are hiding, even in the farthest corners of the world, he will find you no matter how long it takes, and you do not want to be confronted by him, especially when his Dutch Elm Disease kicks in.

16)  If you want to forget all that has been said, then do remember this – when you drop me off one minute after the appointed hour, and consequently have not shown me respect as a lady, may I earnestly remind you ...

       That I live with my parents,

       That our domicile is by a lake,

       That my dad is way bigger than you,

       That he has spare body bags and

       That there are plenty of heavy stones lying around the house.

May the above points assist you in filling our dating time slots with great understanding, mutual joy, and a true growing relationship.

Sincerely,

Leah

Name of Leah's date       ______________________________
Who fully understands all of the above.

Signature of Leah's date ______________________________, Date      /      /

                                                       ♦♦♦

This letter was written with sarcasm, deep and heavy, but … with the important issues that were hiding between the lines, I hope, Leah, that you get a laugh out of it and also learn from it so that you will think about what is important.

With time may you be able to grasp all the real meanings, and understand all the hidden benefits for you.

Furthermore, congratulations, as I heard you have passed your driving test. Writing about your future road participation would take an entire separate epistle.

For this moment, Leah, it is my prayer that the Good Lord will keep you safe on the road, guide you with all the decisions you have to make, and show you the way in all other areas of daily living in this upcoming year and … always.

              “A VERY HAPPY SIXTEENTH BIRTHDAY!”
Big Hug,                                 

François

P.S. Before submitting to any gentleman your “Sweet Sixteen - 16 Dating Rules - Code of Ethics," please read and refresh your mind and then sign page two to make it official, valid and binding. FD

© François DulaPay

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